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Πέμπτη, 23 Μαρτίου 2017
Have you ever wondered why it is possible to walk into a room and immediately been drawn to someone you don’t even know? Like there is a magnetic force field between you, drawing you in, bring you closer and closer until finally without even knowing it, you are lost in conversation full of sexual charge.

5 Intimate Qualities of An Enlightened Partner

We all possess powerful, electrical and magnetic forces within us. Alike to a magnet, we exert a force of attraction to others and between lovers, this magnetic energy is amplified, as we fixate on what it is that we are attracted to.

When we can learn to embrace this powerful energy, we can wield it to elevate our consciousness through the sacred act of sex.

An enlightened partner is aware of this and will use this same magnetic energy, to elevate the experience to heights you never thought possible. As if they are reading your mind, your sensitive spots, likes and dislikes without speaking a word.

If you are an unenlightened person or someone who is not in tune with their own energy, you may be unaware of what is actually happening.

So how can we know, other than just great sex, if your partner is enlightened?

1.They are in the present moment.

An enlightened partner understands that sex can be meditative experience. Facilitating the three qualities of seeking an inward
meditative state. Breath control, withdrawing the senses and concentration. When you are with an enlightened partner their mind isn’t wandering.

They aren’t thinking about anything other than what is being experienced in this very moment. The sensual touching and the energy being shared. The joy of the energy bodies igniting, becoming en-kindled in each other in order to heal and balance.

2. Sex Isn’t Just About Sex

An enlightened partner knows that there is no end game when it comes to sex and there is no rush. Sex isn’t about the release, it is about the experience.

5 Intimate Qualities of An Enlightened PartnerWhen intimately connected, sex becomes more about deepening the emotional, psychological and spiritual bond.

3. They Look Deeply Into Your Eyes

An enlightened partner wants to see your soul and connect with your spirit. By staring deeply into your partners eyes you can bridge the connection, from soul to soul and spirit to spirit and the
energy flows freely between the pair.

4. They are Not Selfish

A person who is selfish in general, is likely to be selfish in bed. A selfish lover won’t be connected to you emotionally and may stick
to one position that works for them.

How to Arouse Your KundaliniAn enlightened partner will try taking things slow and will embrace various positions, to gain the proper energy flow.

This also is to ensure both partners are enjoying themselves as sex shouldn’t be about hard work.

5. Their Energy is Magnetic

An enlightened partner can play with your energy body. Using the positive and negative charge to draw up the energy from your sacral chakra, moving it up your spine with the intent to release it through the top of your head.

An enlightened partner wants you to experience… enlightenment!

by LJ Vanier

About the author:LJ Vanier is the creator of Soul Science-Awakening You. She is the Author of Ether Into the Nemesis a Visionary Fiction tale of Twin Flames and is currently working on her second book in the series Ether Wheels of Time. For more articles by her please visit her website at You can also find her on Facebook ,Twitter and YouTube.

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''Riceman'' and his team want to compare how people would react to a pretty girl begging money for makeup vs a homeless girl begging money for food. To control, they have to the same girl play both roles. They filmed her playing each role for one hour. At the end, over 10 people talked to her and 6 people helped her when she begged for makeup and only 3 people approached her when she begged for food. It’s really bothering to know people would rather help someone with a creative or unusual sign than someone who has legitimate need. 

I hope people in our society can look past someone’s appearance and help those who’s really in need

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Life is a journey, so keep a journal. Flickr/Pedro Ribeiro Simões
Really like this quote I found a few days ago on Facebook – ”Never look down on someone unless you are helping them up”. Can you imagine how difference this world would be if we all followed this rule?

We have so many people that fill our lives and we too, fill the lives of many people. How many of these people including yourself would you call extraordinary? What makes them so? What’s so special about them that makes them do things differently? Let’s look at 4 things they do and give to others.

1. Reliable, sincere support

Caring for others is the closest thing to being cared for. We all live in this world of happiness and torment. Close your eyes and think of the people who have had a positive effect on your life. The ones who have truly made a difference in your life. You will see what sets them apart from the rest. These are not the people who tried to solve your problems or give you all the right answers. These are the ones who sat by you quietly when you needed to think, lent you their strong shoulder when you needed to cry and who stood by you even with no answers. Be this very person to those around you. This is extraordinary.

2. Undivided attention and focus

When you are able to make time for someone, especially when it is inconvenient, is another greatness. You don’t have to shout out loud or say ‘I love you’ every day to tell someone how much you care. Simply show them. Nothing can be appreciated more in a relationship than your sincere and focussed attention. We breathe life into one another when we pay attention, we make a relationship flourish and we grow stronger. Today and every day, give someone the gift of YOU – your undivided time and attention and kindness. This is one gift that can never break or get lost and it is also one that will forever be remembered.

3. A voice of inspiration and positivity

When you are able to remain positive when negativity surrounds you, you uplift everyone around you to your level of thought. When someone is frowning, lend him your smile. When your child is upset with the stress of studies, lend her some inspiration. Give the present of your kind words to someone who is having a bad day. Every time kind words are spoken, something magical is created. Forever be conscious of what you say and how you say it, no matter who you are saying it to. Always use words that encourage, inspire and appreciate. Always use words to uplift.

4. Gentleness and consideration

We were always taught as children to say things nicely to our siblings and if we have nothing nice to say, we should keep quiet. I look at it now as a lesson in being gentle and compassionate to those around us. We cannot reserve kindness and compassion to family and friends. Do we speak to the house help, driver and waiter of a café in the same way? How far you will go in life will always depend on how you helped the young, respected the aged, showed tenderness with the hurt, supported the thriving ones, and were tolerant of the weaker ones around you. Remember that we wear many hats throughout our lives, and at some point we would have been these people too.

The only small difference between ordinary people and extraordinary people is the word ‘extra’. If you can go out of your way and do something nice for the people around you, you are getting to be extraordinary. When you do something for someone who can never repay you, that’s extraordinary.

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Image Source: threepullpa.comtml
By Melissa

I want you to know that I forgive you. 

I forgive you for everything you've done past and present. I forgive you for your wrongdoings. Time will pass and eventually you'll be forced to deal with it all. Someday it will all cave in and you'll be lost because the good people who tried to love you and support you were chased out. 

I feel sorry for you. I'm sorry there is a piece of you that is so broken that you will never ACTUALLY know what love is. You'll see bits and pieces of it, maybe feel it here and there, but you'll never know heart filling, mind blowing, can't stop smiling just at the thought and never want to live a day without them love. 

I'll be fine. In time I will realize that I made the right call. And I'll even be thankful to you for making it easy, for giving me what I needed to walk away before it got even deeper. By letting you go, I'm setting myself free and opening my heart to the opportunity to love again, and to be loved in a way I deserve to be loved, to be someone's priority, to be someone's "everything", to have all I have to give returned and never be made to feel like I'm less than what I know I am. 

I'm broken right now, but I'll mend. I always do. I don't doubt I meant something to you, but that only went so far and eventually stopped. I know more than you know I do. I know you've lied to me on several occasions. 

I don't blame you. You're broken. I just wish you'd have been less of a coward and let me go before you did any real damage, before it got to a point I asked you to promise it would never reach. If you truly loved me, you would have done me that service. 

But it's ok. You're broken. I also don't blame me. I gave you the chance to do right, and I loved you even knowing what you're capable of. Hopefully someday you'll figure it all out. Hopefully it won't be too late and you won't destroy anyone else along the way. 

In the meantime, I forgive you. I'm sorry your life has made you what you are and I'm sorry you've made your life what it is. I tried. I tried hard. But I couldn't do it alone. Hopefully you're happy wherever you are right now. I made it to your list, and while I always knew that I would, my only hope is that I made it a little higher than some of the others. 

I love you. Make no mistake about that. But I also love me, and now it's time for me to give that some extra attention. I thank you for the fun we had, the laughs, the trips, all of it. I don't regret it. Everyone comes into our lives for a reason. Some of them are to teach us lessons. 

Im walking away from this having learned many. I wish you well. I really do. I'll be here for you, even though you don't need that because you don't lean on anyone. But if you find yourself at any time with a need for a shoulder, 

I'll be here.
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Image Credit: Photo Artist

In life, we all have the tendency to believe that we are unworthy on some deep, undefinable level. Whether we believe that we are unworthy of happiness, pleasure, love or fulfillment, we all have a “core wound” deep inside that varies according to our circumstances and experiences. This deep, fundamental wound is the result of the foundational beliefs that we were taught since birth, contributing to the faulty self-image that we continue to carry around with us to this very day.

Our core wounds are our deepest seated pains in life. They are our oldest and most miserable friends. For most of us, these core wounds within us are ruled by the following two mistaken beliefs:

1. “I am flawed and therefore a bad person.”

2. “I must change or fix something about myself in order to be acceptable.”


Christian teachings make reference to our “core wound” all the time in the form of “original sin.” However, once we put aside the dogmatic associations connected with this notion, we see that “original sin” reveals something profound about our deep-rooted core wounds; how issues such as generational guilt, self-rejection, imbalanced self-esteem, and self-hatred has passed on from generation to generation.

Often, our core wounds start in childhood. When we are little we are free. We experience unconditional love and acceptance for all of our needs, and we are granted full expression of ourselves. We don’t experience any inner fragmentation or limitations at all. However, at some point during our childhood we began to experience constraints. As we “ate from the Tree of Knowledge” we slowly came up against invalidation from our parents, elders, and peers. We began to experience disapproval and punishment for being our authentic selves. And so, our core wounds began to deepen.

As our core wounds began to deepen throughout our childhoods, pubescent years, and subsequent adult years, we began to put up barriers of protection to keep other people from hurting us. Although in many cases this protected us, in the end it served to trap us inside, limiting our ability to experience true freedom and authenticity in our day-to-day lives and in every one of our relationships.

Our core wounds are the cause of most of the fatigue we experience in daily life, preventing us from accessing the huge stores of untapped energy, and potential within us. They are also what makes solitude so refreshing as they give us a momentary respite from the lies we tell ourselves and others to protect our deep, unhealed gashes.


Everyone experiences their “core wound” differently. Depending on your Soul Age, level of emotional sensitivity, and the level of rejection you faced while growing up, your core wound could be an irritating scab, or a festering laceration.

How is your core wound manifesting itself in your life? Read the signs below:

  • You enter relationships in the hopes of finding what you lack inside in the other person (i.e. you want to “feel complete”).
  • You often feel inadequate, and you have the following thoughts: “I am not enough,” “I am incomplete,” “I am unlovable,” “I don’t count,” “I am imperfect,” “I am powerless,” and “I am bad.”
  • You constantly feel a sense of abandonment, resentment and/or betrayal.
  • You have a perfectionistic attitude towards life (i.e. you gain your self-esteem from the outcome of your actions instead of the intention behind your actions).
  • You suffer from chronic anxiety. This comes as a result of anticipating the emotional pain of being found unworthy, which deep down you think is true.
  • You repeat the same old mistakes in relationships. This is because you are trapped in a habitual mindset and don’t feel courageous enough to make a change.
  • You find happiness in your misery because it’s a source of attention in the form of sympathy from other people.
  • You have a strong Shadow Self.
  • You behave in dishonest/inauthentic ways that are not true to the person you really are. You behave in this way to gain the acceptance of others.
  • You feel numb inside. You feel a sense of meaninglessness and disconnection from the world around you. This is the ultimate defense mechanism: feeling nothing.
  • You are your own worst critic (i.e. you constantly remind yourself how much of a “loser” or a “failure” you are).
  • You always feel like an outcast, and you can never quite fit in with anyone. Instead of appreciating your uniqueness and seeing it as an opportunity, you see it as a curse.

The larger your core wound is, the more you experience Soul Loss. Often, this is passed onto the people around you (like a virus) — especially children, who are the most susceptible and vulnerable.


The most suffering we experience from our core wounds revolves around the false self-images we present to the world. On one hand we go through life pretending to be very important, and on the other we believe that we are unworthy, ugly, dirty, unlovable, and stupid deep down.

The entire basis of the process of soulwork is to discover all of these little bits and pieces within ourselves that are broken, and to first become aware of them.

We need to examine our wounds carefully, wash them using psychological and spiritual tools, and keep them clean until they heal. A good place to begin this process is by admitting that we are lying to ourselves. We need to stop avoiding the truth about our lives, and develop the courage to face our flaws and erroneous perceptions.

The truth is that existence has no concept of good or bad, only of creating balance. Judgement only occurs on a personal level. The first step to opening these wounds of yours is to stop lying to yourself, to stop avoiding the truth, and to become aware of all of your flaws and erroneous perceptions. To live a life feeling unworthy is to live as a victim of your circumstances — circumstances that you had no control over, and are not to blame for.

A greater Master once said, “And you will know the truth, and the truth will set you free.” Only once you truthfully become aware of your core wound, of how you inherited your “original sin” and the idea that you’re imperfect, will you be able to find closure. Only by forgiving what keeps you from experiencing wholeness deep down can you become free.

What is your core wound? How has it shaped you? What limitations has it created in your life? And most importantly, what valuable lesson has trying to heal your core wound taught you?

Mateo Sol is a prominent psychospiritual teacher whose work has influenced the lives of thousands of people worldwide. Read More
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Τετάρτη, 22 Μαρτίου 2017

I felt stuck and uncomfortable for much of my life and as much as I tried, I couldn’t figure out a way to get unstuck. In many ways the tragic events that happened on the day my mother was killed seem to have been prophetic. It was a culmination of all of my angst that had built up inside of me. The events surrounding her death and the end of my long-term relationship, was analogous to a purging – an explosion of everything that ailed me.

The experience left me feeling alone, terrified and naked in the darkness, but as I look back now, I’ve come to view these events as something quite profound – a turning point in my life. I knew that my life wasn’t working. I knew I was miserably unhappy. My beliefs, my thoughts and the people in my life were suffocating me. I was not me, just a zombie-like version of who I really was.

Living the way I had been became so unbearable that I had no choice, but to change, because staying where I was was too painful, yet I lacked the courage to do anything about it. So the Universe did what it does to those who are living unauthentic lives – it pushed me from the nest and watched as I hurdled towards the ground and my imminent demise.

As I was flailing and trying to get my wings, I came across a number of truths that I hadn’t yet learned. I stumbled upon lessons that I never would have gotten had I stayed where I was.

The first Lesson I received was:

I Am In Control of my Life: No one else just me. I am responsible for every choice I’ve made, every decision, every thought, every action, every behavior, every move – all of it, whether good or bad, it’s all on me, no one else. It doesn’t matter what happened in my childhood, who did what to whom. I’m an adult and all the problems and baggage that I’ve been carrying are mine now and I can choose to continue carrying them, or I can choose to get rid of them. I can do the work, I can fix and change what wasn’t working and I can learn newer, healthier behaviors. I can be the person I’ve always wanted to be. It’s all up to me.

I couldn’t go backwards that was no longer an option. That chapter was closed and coming to the realization that the rest of my life was up to me was very scary, yet very empowering. I wanted my new life to be done right. The direction of my ship was all up to me. I was going to take the staring roll in my own life. That realization that I controlled my destiny, which seems so obvious now, was a startling revelation to me.

Everything Changes When You Love Yourself:  I battled and battled the ‘I’m Not Good Enough Monster’ my entire life. I finally found a way to defeat him and I watched as it took it’s last breath. I came to understand that my value doesn’t change based on someone else’s ability to see it. I determine my worth – no one else but me. The people who should have loved me and concerned themselves with my emotional development didn’t and instead sent me the wrong message – that doesn’t mean that I have to continue giving myself their message. I am good enough because I exist. Being good enough is my birthright. I was born good enough and anyone who thinks to treat me like I’m not a person of value isn’t going to like what happens.

When I started to see myself as a person of value, my entire perspective changed. I no longer wanted to be self-destructive or unkind to myself. I wanted to treat myself with all the love and compassion that I so eagerly relished on other people. I didn’t want to eat bad foods, I wanted to exercise. I wanted to be happy and have fun. I stopped doing and seeking out things and people that would hurt me, instead I looked for things that made me feel good and were good for me. I learned how to protect myself and I took great precautions into who I would let into my life and the kinds of things I would permit myself to do. The attitude of self-love is contagious – when other people pick up on the vibe that, you know you are a person of value – they will treat you as a person of value.

I Don’t Need Anyone’s Permission: I don’t need anyone’s permission, I don’t need anyone’s approval, I don’t need anyone to validate me, or my endeavors, I don’t need anyone to agree with me, or cheer me on.

This was a tough one for me. I always believed that success was this unknown commodity that was given to you from other people. When I was a teenager I played guitar in a Rock Band. I was terrible. A year later, I tried to be a model, a year after that, I tried to be an actress. I hit a road block at every turn, because no one saw anything in me that was special. I wasn’t ‘discovered,’ which must mean that I didn’t have ‘it.’ As a young, immature person, with no self-esteem, I accepted it and I didn’t challenge that assumption.

I think when you have the first two life lessons down, you really stop caring what other people think of you. You stop being afraid of the opinions of others. Putting yourself out there isn’t easy, ask any actress in the world what it feels like to have her appearance constantly judged. But there comes a point where you just decide that, I’m going to do what my heart tells me to do and damn anyone that stands in the way of that.

I had a friend that desperately wanted to go back to school. Her friends told her it wasn’t a good idea, think of her kids and how busy her life was. Her mother questioned how she could afford such a move and her husband wasn’t all that keen on the idea. She had all of this negativity coming at her and yet she still felt this pull to do what her heart demanded. I told her, “Where there’s a will there’s a way. You don’t need anyone’s permission. You don’t need everyone thinking this is the greatest idea since sliced bread. You don’t. All you have to do is figure out what needs to get done in your life to make this happen, money, time, attention….and figure out how to compensate.” And she did and she is on her way towards getting her Master’s degree.  Granted when you have dependents they have to be a consideration, but my friend was looking outwards for approval and very nearly didn’t pursue a dream she had always wanted to, because other people were telling her no.  A good General will always listen to the voices of his Lieutenants, but in the end, the decision belongs to him.

It’s Not What Happens To You It’s How You Deal With It: Everyone, bar none, has setbacks and failures.  The difference between those that fail and those that succeed, are those that succeed, try and they keep on trying.

I work for a big company that just seems to keep expanding and expanding. There is a lot of opportunity for growth and promotion and it’s interesting to watch how the factions go about securing their advancement.

I have watched people get looked over for promotion and they all behave in one of 3 ways. They will either, quit, get bitter and jaded, start complaining a lot and stop working so hard, or they will continue to work hard and look forward to the next chance for advancement.

Bad stuff is always going to happen, the key is to always keep battling. Always stay focused on the big picture and don’t let your emotions, or your ego, get in the way of your own success.

The Power of Intention, Positivity and Gratitude Is Real and Always at Work in our Lives: To demonstrate this I’d like to use an example of Intention that’s negative: I had been driving for a long time prior to my accident that killed my mother and I hadn’t had so much as a scraped bumper. I  considered myself a very confident driver and never gave it much thought.

After the accident I was diagnosed with Post Traumatic Stress Disorder. I would relive the events of the accident constantly. I couldn’t drive and when other’s would drive past a transport truck I would start to panic, my heart rate would soar, I’d have trouble breathing and I would feel so much anxiety  – it was awful. When I went to sleep at night it was worse. All I kept thinking about was crashing into cars. These visions were with me all day, everyday, keeping me fearful and anxious.

One day my brother said, “Sav, you’ve got to get back in the saddle again. You have to start driving. You can’t depend on everyone driving you all the time.” I knew he was right so I started driving again. The visions of me crashing were still with me, this time I would have them while I was driving. I would try to shut them out, but I hadn’t yet learned how to control that inner voice. And within 3 months, you guessed it, I hydroplaned on some ice and smacked right into someone. After never being in an accident in my whole life, I now had been in two within a couple of months. The first one wasn’t my fault, the second?? Some might argue it was an accident I would say, with all my focus, attention, visualizations and all of the fear and anxiety I was pouring into it, that I had manifested it.

So I know from personal experience that manifesting can and does happen. It’s all about what we put our focus and attention on and how much emotion we give it. It doesn’t matter if it’s positive or negative, all that matters is where we allow our mind to go and how we feel about it.

When we desire something positive we have to keep the same level of intensity and we have to keep feeding it positive emotions. The key is consistency. Fear doesn’t come and go like some other emotions. It’s intense and it’s always with you until you conquer it – so you have to create that same level of feeling, except with positive emotions. Love is stronger than fear. It’s spooky how true this stuff is.

I believe that the Universe tossed me out of the nest, because it knew I had to learn these life lessons and that I would never have done so, had I stayed where I was. It also knew that I was capable of handling the journey and that I would find a way to pass on what I have learned.

Throwing me out of the nest taught me how to fly. My destination is entirely up to me.


Savannah Grey is a writer, a certified hypnotherapist and has degrees in both Journalism and Psychology. 
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We’ve all experienced a break up or two at some point in our lives. They’re usually unpleasant, but eventually we move on and begin a new relationship with someone else. Some relationships however, seem to never end and leave us feeling like we’ll never get over them.

It’s normal to grieve the ending of a relationship. The difference between a normal, healthy break up and an unhealthy break up is that in a normal relationship, individuals retain their own identity. Their whole lives aren’t dependent upon the other person. They have lives inside their relationships and outside of their relationships. They can get sad and emotional when it ends, but they’re not going to slip into a major depressive episode. People, who know their worth, know that the sun will come out again and they will love again in time.

Unhealthy people get stuck and can’t seem to find their way out of their grief. They will try anything to dull the pain and they spend every waking minute pining and hoping that the object of their obsession will come back. They are ready and willing to accept any lame excuse. They don’t care about why they left, or the manner in which they left, they just want them back.

Some people in this situation will jump right back into the dating pool, hoping for a replacement, or at the very least a distraction. They will meet a really great guy, or girl that they really wanted to like, but just couldn’t and they explain it away as having no chemistry, or they’ll say, “I’m just not feeling it.” There is a reason for that. In my blog entitled Are You Mistaking Intensity for Intimacy? I describe how unhealthy relationships go through cycles of extreme highs and extreme lows and that a normal relationship just doesn’t match the same level of intensity.

These peaks and valleys are caused by repeated break-ups and repeated reconciliations, where your emotions are always soaring and crashing. Each person never has both feet in the relationship at the same time. This type of relationship is characterized by its fast pace. There’s quick pursuit, love bombing, quick intimacy, followed by an even swifter departure. The partner who is constantly being left, develops addiction-like cravings for the high intensity feelings that normal relationships just can’t provide.

That’s why, when we meet a perfectly normal person, who seems genuinely interested in us, our minds keep going back to the partner, who mistreated us. Normal relationships, in contrast, feel boring because they are more flat lined. There is much less drama, with no high intensity peaks and no low intensity valleys. It’s steady and slowly evolves from infatuation, in the early stages, into a deeper form of love. This is the path of true intimacy. When we engage with intimacy dodgers, we make the mistake of calling those high intensity feelings love and we waltz on past the real thing.

We remain fixated on the one that keeps hurting us, because we’ve developed a craving for those high intensity feelings and we know that we’re not going to experience them with anyone else. What we don’t realize is that those feelings, while they do feel good, are actually extremely harmful and unhealthy, because they only occur in unstable, high risk relationships.

Another reason we can’t seem to let go of these types is because we’ve come to believe that we have a deep and special connection with them. What we know is that shared trauma strengthens the connection, even when the trauma is being caused by the one you have the ‘connection’ with. In my blog entitled Why Do I Still Love Him: Understanding Trauma Bonds, I discuss how trauma bonds can happen to anyone, at any time and very quickly. They are the high intensity connections we make with abusive individuals, who tend to hold a form of power over us.

In The Betrayal Bond, Dr Patrick Carnes tells us that three elements must be present for a trauma bond to form. There must be:

  • A power differential (One person behaves in an oppressive, controlling and dominant manner).
  • Intermittent rewards (Random moments of kindness and tenderness, mixed in with painful and hurtful treatment).
  • Periods of high arousal (defined as intense feelings of fear, anxiety, excitement, or any emotion that puts your nervous system on high alert) followed by periods of intense bonding (making up).

What happens in these situations is that when our ability to feel good is wrapped up in another and at their whim, we become oppressed and this oppression creates dependency. Anytime we give away our personal power, we become bound to their will. We become weak, needy, anxious and fearful.

Many of us talk about the abusive people in our lives and use words like best friend or soul mate. That we would call someone, who is responsible for causing us such intense pain, our soul mate, seems to defy reason, but anyone that can play with our emotions like a yo-yo on a string yields a great deal of control over us. They hold the keys to our emotions, so we develop a dependency on them, in the same way an individual develops a dependency on a narcotic.

This is why it is essential to make a bee line out of the relationship when you notice a persistent pattern of breaking up and reconciling, breaking up and reconciling. If you continue this cycle you increase the risk of developing a trauma bond, which keeps you fixated and stuck in a relationship that seems to never end.

If you identify with a high intensity relationship please see my blog Trauma Bonds Part 2 where I list some of Patrick Carnes exercises on how to extricate yourself from this type of relationship. For a full accounting get Carnes’ book, Betrayal Bonds: Breaking Free of Exploitive Relationships and stop looking for those peaks and valleys in your relationships and instead start planting your seeds in the stable flat lands of a healthy relationship.


Savannah Grey is a writer, a certified hypnotherapist and has degrees in both Journalism and Psychology.
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What are five signs that you can look for that will let you know you you’ve met your twin flame or soulmate, and that the relationship in front of you is of importance in your life, as in karmic or destined to happen?

1. You both feel a strong connection

From the day that you met, you’ve felt a strong connection to this person – and they to you.

Whether your twin flame relationship is platonic, familial or romantic, there’s a connection that far surpasses the bond in your other relationships. You both mutually care about each other, and deeply and obviously so.

2. You stay close to each others’ lives

Some people come into our lives for a lifetime, some for a season, some for a day.

For the most part, we allow the majority of them to come and go without any notice, but this relationship is different. In this bond you feel attached to each other, often quite sudden and inexplicably.

You stay near to each other, communicating and interacting regularly, and visiting and spending time together whenever possible. This relationship is very quickly elevated to the point of being a top, if not the most important, relationship in your life.

3. You don’t have enough history to explain your attachment

If you’ve been in a long-term committed bond you’ll know that history really does add enormous value and worth to a relationship, and that shared experience often explains the connection and attachment we feel towards the other party.

In a twin flame, soulmate or karmic bond however, you’ll have this level of connection, but without the past history, memories and shared experiences that validate a bond of that intensity.

While the bond draws you closer, the lack of experience and history drives you apart because you fill in the blanks by assuming that your new partner is operating from the same level as you.

This is one of the key aspects that drive young twin flame bonds into the ground. The lack of history can also serve to make one of the partners feel suffocated or clingy and possessive – another common young twin flame experience.

4. Issues seem much bigger than they should be

If you’ve been in a relationship for any duration you’ll know that issues escalate over time, for the most part.

At first you can forgive and move past something, but by the second, third, fifth, twentieth time something has happened you lose the plot and the kid gloves come off.

Don’t be surprised if you see this happening quickly in your twin flame or soulmate bond too.

Even though you don’t consciously remember the events from past lives that have played out between you, you still carry the energy of that within your system.

So, the reason you’re blowing up and feeling like this has been happening to you all your life – even though you only met last week or last month – is because it did happen to you all your life, just not the life you’re living right now.

The biggest reason you feel it is because energy is emotion.

Until you learn to distinguish between the different flows you will experience any energy movements in your body as emotion, because that is how the mechanism has been set up in nature.

5. You have unresolved emotions you can’t explain

Speaking of intense emotions, these can spring up on you unawares too – again a result of the lingering energy of memories that have brought you together karmically in this time.

So you may feel overwhelming love, or emotions that you’ve never felt before, like jealousy, possessiveness, envy, fear that your partner is cheating.

Long and short of it – if you’ve never had the emotion before and it’s not normal to you, or it’s grown to intense and overwhelming proportions immediately, then it’s most likely an energy triggered by the karma playing out in the situation.

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There is conflicting science on whether or not happy memories are easier to recall than sad ones. Ask anyone who’s trying to get over a Narcissist and they’ll tell you they wish they could hang on to the bad, but always seem to recall the good.

We know that trauma bonds deepen the connection between abuser and victim. We know that early programming fools us into believing that intensity is the same thing as intimacy. We also know that codependency confuses us, it creates doubt, shame and guilt and its objective is to keep us where we are.

With all of these things working against us, it’s no wonder trying to break free from a Narcissist seems so difficult. These things seem so implausible that most of us, trying to get over the relationship, find our well-meaning support teams uttering things like, “Why can’t you just get over it.” And they get tired of hearing us talk about it, mope around and often relapse.

They watch us go in and out of relationships that are so obviously dysfunctional to everyone else around us. They get frustrated by our inability to distinguish reality from fiction. But mostly they get tired of watching us harm ourselves by ignoring obvious signs.

I get a lot of people asking me to make sense of their partner’s behavior. They’ll list tons of great things, followed by tons of terrible relationship crimes and they have so much trouble trying to interpret the signs. The truth is trying to discern someone’s real intention is a lot more simple than you might think.

They Love Me. They Love Me Not

If you can’t depend on them for anything, you’re not in a healthy relationship: If certain events come up, or typical things that would require the participation of a significant other and you already know you need not even ask your partner, this is huge sign that you’re not in a real relationship. No amount of post coitus cuddling and promises makes up for them choosing to not participate in your life.

If they treat you great one minute and then ignore you the next, you’re not a healthy relationship: You shouldn’t have to second guess where you stand in your relationship. If you’re getting mixed signals it means that your significant other isn’t committed to the relationship. Get out and don’t put yourself through the strain of having to figure out whether he/she are in or out. Relationships shouldn’t be something that requires guess work.

If they actively flirt or seek out other people while in your presence, you’re not in a healthy relationship: If your partner does that in front of you I’d hate to see what they do behind your back. Not only is it incredibly disrespectful it also shows attention seeking behavior and believe me, you want no part of that. The damage that does to your self-esteem isn’t worth any price.

If they don’t treat you like a priority, you’re not in a healthy relationship: If you constantly feel like you’re not important to the one you love, you need to get yourself together and exit the relationship. There are few things worse than unrequited love and if you stay hoping to change their minds you’re just setting yourself up to fail. If you ever want to change someone’s opinion about you, start with changing your opinion about yourself and walk away from anything that doesn’t lift you, or make you better.

If they don’t introduce you to their family and friends after a certain amount of time, it isn’t a healthy relationship: If you’ve been dating for months and you haven’t met their family or friends there’s a problem. It could mean they’re married, or in a serious relationship. It could mean that they’re serial dating or that they don’t have honorable intentions. It is healthy to wait until serious about someone before integrating them into your life, especially if you have children, but if you’re already sleeping together, you’re spending days living at each other’s place and months have gone by, I’d say, if it walks like a relationship and it talks like a relationship – it’s a relationship and I’d expect to be treated like I’m in a relationship. If your significant other is holding back I’d demand to know why.

If you want one thing and they want something else, it isn’t a healthy relationship: If you’re sticking around hoping he/she will change their mind and realize you’re the one, give your head a shake and get the hell out. I have a simple rule about change – either I accept things as they are or I leave. Change is hard in the best of times and when you’re hoping to change the way someone feels about you, and you think the best way to do that is by sticking around accepting the status quo you’re greatly mistaken. If someone isn’t sure how they feel about you, make their choice simple. Walk away.

If they show needy, jealous behaviors you’re not in a healthy relationship: The healthiest relationships I’ve ever seen consist of two people who have lives inside and outside of their relationships and who encourage the other to grow and be better. If your partner is extremely insecure and makes you feel guilty about wanting to spend time with friends and family, you’ve got a problem. If they need to stifle your growth for their own comfort level, you need to really pay attention to what’s happening in your relationship. It’s a clear sign that your partner is only interested in their own wants and needs and is not interested in your happiness. Never dim your light to make others happy.

If you stick around because you think you can’t do any better, you’re not in a real relationship: I can’t tell you how many of my clients list all these amazing things about their partner. Things like, “He is model gorgeous, his family has money, he’s got a really prestigious job, he’s famous, he’s in politics, she’s an actress, or a doctor …. Yeah I get it, they have some things going for them. Great. It’s too bad they treated you like shit. When you stick around because they have one or two special things about them, you are putting a price on your self-esteem. The fact that they have money isn’t more important than the way they treat you. if you think that the few perks you receive once in a while is more important than the way they treat you, then your priorities are all screwed up. If Irina Shayk can walk away from wealthy, gorgeous, famous and talented Cristiano Ronaldo, you can walk away too.

If you are wondering more times than not, whether or not your partner wants to be with you, you have to come back down to reality. In healthy relationships you don’t have to wonder or guess what your significant other is thinking or feeling about you, because they are telling you and showing you that you are a priority – consistently. If someone is ok with hurting you or making you feel uneasy, then they are not for you. You don’t need a scale to balance out the good vs the bad. You don’t need to be a detective to put all the pieces together. This is really simple stuff. Either they treat you consistently with love, kindness and respect and there is a balanced reciprocity, or their isn’t. It doesn’t matter if they’re gorgeous, rich or famous – whatever you think you will gain from their attributes pales in comparison to what you will lose by sticking around and allowing them to keep kicking you. Do right by you. Practice self-care and take care of you first.

Savannah Grey is a writer, a certified hypnotherapist and has degrees in both Journalism and Psychology. 
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Τρίτη, 21 Μαρτίου 2017

Plant-e, a company based out of the Netherlands, has found a way to harness electricity from living plants, using them to power Wi-Fi hotspots, cell phone chargers, and even streetlights. The company debuted their project, called “Starry Sky,” in November of 2014 near Amsterdam, where they lit up more than 300 LED streetlights at two different sites. Their plant power technology is also being used to power the company’s headquarters in Wageningen.

The company was founded in 2009, and was a spin-off from the department of Environmental Technology of Wageningen University. Again, they develop products in which living plants generate electricity. Their technology allows them to produce electricity from practically every site where plants can grow.

“Via photosynthesis a plant produces organic matter. Part of this organic matter is used for plant-growth, but a large part can’t be used by the plant and is excreted into the soil via the roots. Around the roots naturally occurring micro-organisms break down the organic compounds to gain energy from. In this process, electrons are released as a waste product. By providing an electrode for the micro-organisms to donate their electrons to, the electrons can be harvested as electricity. Research has shown that plant-growth isn’t compromised by harvesting electricity, so plants keep on growing while electricity is concurrently produced.” (source)

Just imagine, a house with a roof full of plant/tree life powering your home. On the company’s website, they feature animated pictures of mini-forests growing on building rooftops supplying power to the entire building. It’s pretty cool to imagine, isn’t it?

It’s important to mention that at the moment, the main problem is the quantity of energy that can be generated. There is still a long way to go with regards to making enough energy to have a completely reliable commercial product, but things are looking promising, as the company is already selling products that enable you to harvest energy from plants. Again, they are also using the technology to power their headquarters…

For more information on the technology or to read some of their recent publications, see: – or visit their website listed in the sources.

More and more energy innovations seem to be emerging every single day, like this one. Perhaps this is why the powerful and wealthy Rockefeller family recently sold out of fossil fuels and switched their investments towards clean energy? Change is coming, and it’s about time. The world’s largest private bank, UBS, is also urging investors to join the clean, renewable energy movement.They did so with a statement expressing that power plants in Europe might be completely extinct within the next 10 to 20 year (you can read more about that story here). It’s something that needs to happen, and it needs to happen now. We’ve seen the solutions, now it’s time to implement them. It’s become clear that there are many alternative ways to generate energy without destroying the planet.

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