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Tantra: The Next Step In Evolution For Love & Sex

By Katrina Bos

Originally published on (with permission)

We are on the cusp of a whole new chapter in love, relationships, and sexuality.

The old ways are dying, and more quickly every day. We no longer define relationships like our parents and grandparents did. We are redefining love in every way. And we know that we are missing something in our sex lives – that it’s more than just going for a simple orgasm, that we’re supposed to feel differently afterwards, that it’s supposed to bring us closer together, and that it’s supposed to be a kind of spiritual experience that truly leaves us content, blissful, and happy.

And so we are writing a new mythology for the generations to come.

Joseph Campbell defines a mythology as a cultural framework for a society or people to educate their young. We are the result of the stories of the mythology that we were raised in. But those old rules, constructs, and boxes just aren’t working for us anymore. And the next generation isn’t buying them. They are looking for something much more in life.

The Next Generation

I first observed this in my own children and their friends. When I first started teaching and sharing tantra, my kids were teenagers and so there was always a pile of kids in our home. And so we would often gather in our living room and talk. We would discuss how tantric intimacy worked — how it wasn’t all about sex, but rather about connection; how there were so many ways to intimately connect with someone without even taking your clothes off.

And we would also talk about sexuality because the whole topic was still taboo and connected with shame, and they were all sexually active.Yet the idea that they could have mind-blowing, intimate, loving experiences that would stay with them for days (and years) instead of the uncomfortable and short-lived pleasure of what was happening in the back of their parents’ minivan was incredibly appealing!

We Are Waking Up

But it isn’t just the young people who know that there’s more. I see it in all my workshops and courses.

People walk in unsure of what exactly is going to happen. But as the workshop begins, I see people relax into a space where they just listen and watch. When I ask if they have questions, they say, “No, just keep going.” And then later we do a check-in and the number one response is, “You are saying what I’ve known inside for so long, but I just couldn’t put it into words… and I didn’t know how to apply them to my life.”

Tantra is what we are made for. It is the most natural way to love, relate, and be intimate with others. It requires no tricks and no fancy techniques. But what it does require is to let go of the programming that we’ve gathered from the mythologies and stories that our society has been built on. And there are no short-cuts. We can’t skip the first step and go on to step two. We have to do the work.

We truly have to evolve.

The Next Stage Of Love, Relationships, & Sexuality

1. We Will Experience Real Love

One of the foundations of tantra is to experience divine energy running through us in every aspect of our lives.

Love is this divine energy.

This hasn’t changed from our previous mythologies. We have always been taught that love was kind, compassionate, eternal, and healing, and that our lives are completely fulfilled when we have it.

Previously, we have tried to control it, keep it, and define it, but we know that trying to control divine energy is a lot like trying to herd cats. The more you try to control it, the more it slips out of your hands. And if you try to put it in a box to keep it forever, it will simply die or disappear.

Instead, we will relax and know that we are filled with love all of the time. It is within us. It is in everyone around us and we can access it any time we want.

And when we have done our personal work, we won’t “need” the love of another to make us feel whole, happy, or worthy. Instead, we will simply feel love, give love, and receive love. We will know what a gift it is. But since we are complete unto ourselves, we will allow love to flow naturally — no controlling it, just allowing it to flow from us into others and allowing it to nourish us completely.

2. We Will Experience True Connection

Carl Jung once said that “The meeting of two personalities is like the contact of two chemical substances: if there is any reaction, both are transformed.”

Because tantra connects us with the divine within us, we feel strong enough in ourselves to be vulnerable. We are able to drop our walls and barriers to each other.

When we do this, that infinite, divine aspect of us starts to flow. And when two open people connect these infinite energies, we can go to places that we can’t go alone.

This includes all of our intimate connections. Imagine being wonderfully present and open with your children, parents, siblings, friends, colleagues, and even strangers on the street — truly impacting each other’s lives simply by being present and loving and open.

No fears, rules, expectations or roles to play — just being fully present with each other, sharing your essence.

Genuine connection all of the time.

3. We Will Experience True Tantric Sexuality

Intimate tantric union is like nothing we’ve experienced in previous stages.

Previously, because sexuality was taboo, we were not taught anything. But going forward, learning the art of lovemaking will be as normal as learning to drive a car. Since we are going beyond the primal urge of procreation and simple intercourse, we must learn the wisdom of the ancients to access what we are truly capable of.

We will be completely open and vulnerable and so we will be able to truly merge with another. As we make love, our bodies will disappear into each other. There will be no sense of giver and receiver, because we will be completely joined – body, mind, and spirit.

Within this union, the infinite parts of ourselves will combine and dance and play together. Each time will be completely new and different. After all, how many ways can you combine infinity?

Our breath and focus will carry the orgasmic energy from our genitals throughout our whole body. As this energy courses through one body, it will flow into the other’s. And this energy will circulate and build upon itself, taking us to places that we can’t even imagine.

This lovemaking will nourish every cell in our body, mind, and spirit. It will not “just be sex.” It will be an incredible intimate connection.

A true connection of souls.

It’s Time For A New Mythology

The Iroquois say that with each decision, we must consider the impact on the next seven generations.

So what do we want for the generations to come? What will our legacy be?

For the first time in our existence, we have the freedom, time, and desire to explore the deeper aspects of being human. We are able to expand into who we are. In many parts of the world, there is equality between the sexes. So there is full freedom to truly expand into who we truly are as physical and spiritual beings.

And it isn’t just for the young. It’s for all of us who hear the call. And you know who you are because you hear a “yes” inside of you.

Because it’s time.  And it’s so exciting!

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